AAP or PAAP….what do you think??!!

The joker in the political pack Kejriwal (just Joker from now on for brevity) has named his party Aam Aadmi Party (AAP). In my humble opinion, after reading the kinky (sinful almost) principles that he has propounded, I think the party would have been more appropriately named PAAP (Perverted Aam Aadmi Party maybe). For no matter how many newspapers I try to read, no matter how hard I search, I simply cannot find any point that is remarkable about this new party. So forgive me, but I will call Joker’s party PAAP. And members of this party PAAPis (now I am getting kinky!)!

Take the point on “not more than one family member will be given a ticket” one. This is illogical. For it presumes that there just cannot be more than one “good” person with noble social goals in his heart in one family. And as a corollary, two independent good people who work together selflessly as PAAPis cannot marry and become one “PAAPi family”. It also means that if there is ever a PAAPi politician in a family, the other members of that family cannot be PAAPis (strange as that may sound)! I am sure there will soon be an addendum to this rule….family members of PAAP cannot be members of another political party as well, because by Joker’s definition, the members of the other political parties have to necessarily be corrupt (though not PAAPis!). Family members cannot be businessmen also because in Joker’s wisdom, they are anyways PAAPis (like Gadkari, though not belonging to his party). Net net, the moment a person joins PAAP, his or her family becomes a PAAPi family, though no one else can become a PAAPi! On a serious note, I do understand the motivation for such a rule, but does Joker have the common sense that rules should never be made in the extreme. Rules are always best made with “exceptions” or “conditions” built in. PAAP could have said “family members will be allowed but their names will have to be cleared by the national council” or some such thing. Or that they will be subjected to even stricter norms of public behavior and personal conduct. Disallowing family members from becoming members of PAAP is dictatorial; but then so much about PAAP is like that.

We are also told that PAAP will make its donors list public. Again, this is an idiotic principle, if it can even be called one. The law of the land already prescribes this for all political parties. The problem comes from the “small donations” which are under Rs 20000; the collections made at rallies when people donate Rs 10 and Rs 50 in “collection boxes”. Now PAAP may either have to disallow this entirely. Or it may have to cook up names of donors to live by this principle. Again, the rule has been made in the extreme. Instead, the rule should have been that PAAP will put out audited reports on a monthly basis in the public domain. And they will be certified by a CA of high public credibility. Or some such thing.

Right to recall is a ridiculous concept. In the multi-polar electoral reality of ours, how will it ever work? The winner of a poll usually gets less than 30% of the votes, so 70% of the voters are against him even at the time he is elected. At what point will the winner be recalled? And who will determine and how, that the time to recall has come? If it’s a voluntary recall made by PAAP based on public perception, then that’s not permitted by law unless the person himself agrees to resign. If the person is forced to resign, and a new election has to be held, there will be huge expenses incurred.

And this thing about “lawmaking through referendums” is even more ridiculous. For every decision that the Executive will need to take, a referendum will be held, is it? Should India allow FDI in aviation? Referendum. Should India amend pollution norms for automobiles? Referendum. Should India and Pakistan play a cricket match on Indian soil? Referendum! Maybe this is the reason an election researcher like Yogendra Yadav has been taken into the party! As with all others, this rule has been made in the extreme. Funny.

And what about platitudes like “accessible judicial system”. The problem in India is that the judicial system is too accessible. Everyone can file a case making the list in courts longer. Everyone can appeal in a higher court, making the list there also longer. One of the villains of this plot is Prashant Bhushan himself, piling on senseless PILs one after the other and clogging the already clogged judicial system. The problem is not one of accessibility, but of speed of justice. For that to happen, maybe the access has to lesser, not more. But this is much beyond the rustic wisdom of these urban PAAPis.

Of course the funniest suggestion is the one about the internal Lokpal (PAAPi Lokpal!). How convenient. One PAAPi will investigate charges of corruption against another PAAPi! Isn’t that a little different from what Joker has been demanding of others so far? That an external person should do the inquiry? Why is he not saying that an SIT comprising three SC judges will be set up for this?! And what if the person is found innocent by the PAAPi Lokpal? Will that be any different than Salman Khursheed being found innocent by his party? And Gadkari by his? These guys are truly a comedy show – inspired no doubt by their founder, Joker!

I am sorry but the real truth is that AAP is precisely what I don’t want. What I want is a modern party with liberal economic ideals; of course without the problems of crony capitalism etc. I want a secular party which promotes genuine bonding between people; not appeasement of one community or the other. I want an electoral system that provides decisive mandates; not one that gives hung verdicts most of the time. I want a judiciary that is fast; not one that is merely accessible to all. In short, I want a party that is politically modern, economically pro-reforms and culturally liberal. That would be the real Aam Aadmi Party and one that I would support; not this ragtag combination of frustrated bigots who are out to ruin the country. Stealing another party’s slogan and mocking it may give momentary joy, but it doesn’t take one too far. For that, one has to have a positive and happy agenda. India is a nation of happy people after all….