The whole world is now laughing at Modi!

Modi, as expected, did a u-turn on his Unnao gold hunt position. Two days back, he had said “The whole world is laughing at us… Somebody dreamt and the government has launched an excavation”. Yesterday, he retracted, tweeting (as translated into English by TOI) “Lakhs of people have had faith in saint Shobhan Sarkar over the years. I salute his renunciation”. Hahahaha!

Why do I say “as expected”? Because, no matter how hard Modi tries to publicly distance himself from sadhus and sants, he just cannot seem to do that long enough. Every now and then, he is back to reassuring his “core” constituency that he hasn’t “turned”. Which is why, he has kept his party’s promise of constructing a Ram temple in Ayodhya alive. It’s a “non-negotiable” apparently. I don’t know what that means considering that the SC is already seized of the matter. Will Modi’s government bring a new law to overturn an adverse SC order if one comes? Or is it just another of Modi’s #feku claims?

For Modi, the opportunity to mock the Congress (but why?) for the ASI expedition in Unnao was temporarily more tempting than addressing his core community. Once that jab was made, he suddenly had to worry about the strong reaction from the swamy’s followers. Hence the retraction. So what if the world laughs!

But this is not the first time the world has laughed at Modi. Everytime he mouths some “facts”, the world laughs. Its now become an instinctive reaction. It’s like when a stand-up comedian says even the most plain, boring statement, the audience first laughs, then wonders about what he has spoken! Well, Modi has “earned” himself this reputation, and the #feku tag in the process. When he said China spent 20% of its GDP on education, little did he expect the media to pay attention to such minor details. And the Congress to point out that actually the number was only 3.93%, and that India spent more than China did (4.2%). Besides, and this is why the world really laughed, the spend was more during Congress rule than during NDA’s (1.67%)!

Or when Modi spoke about Shashi Tharoor’s “Rs 50 crore girlfriend”, or that “Gujarati women are figure conscious, hence they are malnourished”, he induced peels of laughter around the world. Equally, when he thunders at Pakistan and China, threatening them as it were, and exposes exactly how much he knows of international diplomacy – which is precisely zero – the world sits back at laughs. If this is the PM that India is going to get, India is going to soon become a comedy circus! And every time Modi will speak, it will be like downtown London’s famous stand-up comedy act!

But then if there is any pattern emerging from Modi’s speeches, it is that he wants to disassociate himself as much from the NDA period as from the last ten years of Congress rule. For him, even the NDA period was wasted. Modi has never been a fan of Vajpayee’s; and he has never forgotten that Vajpayee wanted him sacked as Gujarat CM for the Gujarat riots of 2002. As for his relationship with Advani…..well, the less said the better. Ditto with Sushma Swaraj, Yashwant Sinha and Murli Manohar Joshi. What better way to collectively hit them than by disowning the NDA period? That’s why when Modi speaks, it is about “his” Gujarat, never about “NDA’s” India. He couldn’t care if NDA spent more or less than Congress. They are both anathema for him!

It’s a fact that people familiar with Gujarat’s politics know very well. Modi has virtually decimated every leader in the state. Be it Keshubhai Patel or Shanker Singh Vaghela or Haren Pandya, there is only one way for any opponent of Modi’s. Out! Does anyone even know who would take over as Gujarat CM if Modi became PM? No! There is someone called Anandiben Shah who no one has heard of; and then there is his spokesman there…..what’s his name again?! Modi’s insecurities, his narcissistic “I, me, myself” trait, are so dominant that he cannot tolerate anyone standing up to him. Even if that includes his own partymen or his “friends” in the RSS/VHP. Sorry, Modi has no friends. He is the boss after all! Ask Sanjay Joshi of the RSS that. Or ask Pravin Togadia of the VHP (http://tinyurl.com/l843nsd) that.

Coming back to Unnao, what was the reason to mock the Congress? The ASI already clarified that it was conducting the excavation based on the Geological Survey of India’s report. “As the government faced flak over the excavation by ASI, the Geological Survey of India (GSI) came to its defence, saying the broad findings of a study indicated at presence of metal underneath” reported the TOI on Sunday, 20^th October. The GSI said “This prominent non-magnetic anomalous zone indicative of possible gold, silver and/or some alloys, etc, may be tested by excavation for further interest at the specified site”. Now unless Modi knows more than the GSI, there is no way he could have mocked the Congress.

The real truth is that the world is indeed laughing at India. With Modi as the BJP’s PM candidate, that is all that the world can do. But most Indians are secretly laughing too. As Javed Akhtar, noted poted and RS member, tweeted “Paki fundos are dying to see Modi as Indian PM. They believe it will confirm their 2 nation theory and justify their bias and hatred”. It’s the same sentiment that many globally are sharing….